Practical Steps to Practicing Gratitude
The day has finally arrived. The meal has been prepared, the room is full of fall-time fragrances, and just as the thought crossed your mind that this year might be different… the questions begin. “So did you get a real job yet?” “Are you in a relationship, or still single?” “When are we going to see some little ones joining our family? You can’t wait forever.” “How has school been? Getting good grades?” “When will you stop wearing those ripped jeans and dress like a normal adult?” “Have you gained/lost weight?” “How are those retirement plans coming along?”
Whether you’ve been asked one of these questions specifically, sat at the kids table in your twenties, or gotten a back handed compliment that you weren’t quite sure how to respond to, holiday gatherings can leave you feeling a little less thankful than you would have liked. So how do we continue to practice gratitude when everything in us just doesn’t feel like it? How do we prepare our minds before we walk into stressful situations, which for some, may be holiday gatherings?
First, we must recognize the importance of practicing gratitude, even when we don’t feel like it.
Research has shown that practicing gratitude can lead to mental and physical health, along with building happiness and contentment. It has been found that practicing gratitude can lead to an improved relationship between spouses and between families, as it encourages one to look for the good in the person they are with. Practicing gratitude daily can affect one’s mood, decrease stress, and can build on emotional awareness and regulation, since gratitude also increases the amount of dopamine and serotonin in the brain (neurotransmitters responsible for happiness). Gratitude also regulates stress hormones, meaning that the more gratitude is actively practiced, the less anxiety one might feel. Since gratitude has such a great effect on the human brain, it has been said that the daily practice of gratitude may have similar effects of medications, since the practice produces long-lasting results.
You can add the practice of gratitude into your life starting with three easy activities.
Begin a gratitude journal
Journaling is something I commonly suggest to my clients in the therapy room, as I give specific prompts to write about based off of what is being discussed that day. Well, here is my holiday gift to you- a journal prompt! Each day, I encourage you to write down at least five things that you are grateful for. Perhaps you’re thankful for the cup of coffee you can count on to get you up and moving each morning. Maybe you’re grateful for a fond memory in your childhood. Maybe your grateful for the growth that you have seen within yourself over the past few months. Whatever it may be, write it down! Research has shown that writing down at least five things you are grateful for each day for a week can lead to positive psychological impacts that can last up to six months!
Pick at least one person a month to intentionally express gratefulness towards.
Sometimes there are people in our lives that make our day a little brighter and lighter. Maybe you’re that person for someone else. My encouragement is for you to practice communicating gratefulness out loud to another person. Meet with them or call them with the specific intent to let them know how you are grateful for them, whether it be for the way the consistently love you, for a situation in which they helped you, or simply because of their character. I’m sure they’ll be so grateful for your kind words.
Find at least three things a day that you are grateful for about yourself, then say them out loud in the mirror.
I know it sounds silly to talk to yourself in the mirror, but I promise this works! When we hear ourselves speak out loud, the brain processes anything we say literally. That’s why in therapy, I always encourage my clients to speak the good things about themselves out loud, rather than the automatic negative thoughts. Since the brain is quick to believe the things we say out loud about ourselves, I encourage you to speak statements of gratitude over yourself. Perhaps it may sound like, “I am grateful that I am a compassionate person,” “I am grateful for my curly red hair,” or “I am grateful that I am resilient, despite what I have gone through.” It may feel like hard work to think of things to say to yourself at first, and that’s okay. As you practice this more, though, your brain will literally rewire and fire new neural connections in the brain that make this activity easier!
So as you prepare for this upcoming holiday season, and all the questions from friends and family that may come along with it, prepare your mind with practices of gratitude. And don’t forget that you’re not alone in this! I’m right here with you preparing a heart of gratitude! In fact, here are my personal five gratitude journal thoughts for today: I am so grateful to serve as a therapist since I am so passionate about creating a space where people can come as they are. I am grateful for an opportunity to write about the things that I love. I am grateful that I get to hear people’s stories and walk alongside them as they grow. I am so grateful that you are reading this today. I am grateful you are here.
Written by: Gianna Maneri, MFTI
About Gianna:
Gianna desires to come alongside in support and encouragement as you grow through what you are going through. She specializes in working with children, teens, women, and couples, guiding them in discovering healthy practices in their lives by promoting growth in mental health, strength, vulnerability, and unity.