AI and Our Children: What Parents Need to Know About AI Chatbots
As AI tools become more accessible, it’s important for families to understand how children and teens are engaging with them.
While platforms like ChatGPT require parental consent for users ages 13 to 18, many companies acknowledge that children as young as nine may still find ways to access these tools.
AI itself is not new, but the rise of companion bots has prompted fresh questions about how young people interact with technology. These bots are often used by teens, young adults, individuals experiencing loneliness or social anxiety, people with disabilities, and adults coping with grief or loss.
Several companion bots exist today — including Character AI, Replika, Nomi, and others — all of which are built on Large Language Models (LLMs). These systems learn from user input and are designed to validate, and sometimes over‑validate, what the user shares. They can be customized as a friend, mentor, romantic partner, or even a digital sexual partner.
Because these interactions are one‑sided, the bot consistently affirms the user’s thoughts, offers no challenge or disagreement, is available around the clock, and requires nothing in return.
For young teens, this can interfere with healthy social development. They may miss opportunities to learn how to navigate conflict, rejection, boundaries, or the natural give‑and‑take of real relationships. Over time, constant validation may also contribute to an inflated sense of self or create emotional dependence on AI for connection.
Privacy is another important consideration. Conversations with AI companions may be stored in the cloud or deleted after a period of time, but the extent of their privacy is not always clear. Chat logs can sometimes be accessed by parents, employers, or, in certain circumstances, subpoenaed for legal proceedings such as divorce or custody cases.
If your child is using an AI companion bot, approaching the topic with curiosity can open the door to meaningful conversation. You might ask, “Have you talked with any AI apps or chatbots? What was that experience like for you?”
You can also guide your child toward AI tools designed with mental health safeguards in mind, such as Woebot or Wysa, which are scripted by licensed professionals. Most importantly, create a plan together so your child knows how to come to you first if they are feeling sad, lonely, or having thoughts of self‑harm. Because companion bots are built to validate rather than challenge, they will not intervene, encourage a child to seek help, or support them in developing a safety plan.
Companion bots are considered high risk in the field of mental health. As parents, it can be helpful to know how your child is using AI and to encourage a healthy balance between real and healthy relationships and using AI to practice social skills.
If this article raised questions or concerns about your child's use of AI, know that you're not alone. Our therapists are here to help you and your child navigate these new challenges with understanding, practical guidance, and compassionate support.
About Tamara O’Shea, MAT, LAMFT
Helping individuals and couples feel whole and connected to those they love. Tamara is available in Midland Park, Bloomfield and telehealth.
