Learning to Accept: Building Tolerance for Hard Emotions
Learning to Accept: Building Tolerance for Hard Emotions
There is a well-known quote attributed to Carl Jung: “What you resist persists.”
What Jung wanted people to know was that the more you try to push away, deny, or fight a problem, feeling, or thought, the more it intensifies.
When it comes to emotions, this is certainly true. When we experience difficult or uncomfortable emotions like fear, dread, regret, and even grief, it’s tempting to resist feeling these emotions by pushing them away, ignoring them, or drowning them in something else, like work or alcohol.
This resistance to discomfort and pain is a natural response. Afterall, who likes to experience discomfort and pain?
While resisting these difficulties might seem like a good idea in the moment, the route of resistance comes with a price.
Did You Know We Have Perpetual Problems in Marriage?
The truth is, when I fly alone, I do it my way, and there are no problems. When my wife flies alone, she does it her way, and there are no problems. But when we fly together?
Welcome to marriage and the world of ‘perpetual problems.’”
Perpetual problems are differences in habits, preferences, and values that challenge every married couple. They aren’t just little quirks — they’re deeply rooted parts of who we are. And the key is not to “win” or “fix” these problems, but to manage them with understanding and compassion.
When two people come from different backgrounds, with different experiences and emotional histories, they will inevitably see the world — and how to live in it — differently. One may see spending as a sign of love and joy, while the other sees saving as a way to protect and provide. Neither is wrong.