When It’s Clear on Paper: A Game-Changing Tool for Couples
How a Proven Couples Assessment Can Show What You’ve Been Overlooking
“My partner thinks our communication is great, but I feel completely unheard.”
We hear that often.
One of our counselors, Gerard DeMatteo, LPC, recently led a training for a group of pastors, therapists, and lay leaders on how to use an impactful relationship resource known as PREPARE/ENRICH. This assessment has helped thousands of couples—including many here at Light the Way—gain insight into their relationship and find new ways to strengthen their connection.Annoying Habits
Annoying habits range from small issues, such as the proverbial cap on the toothpaste or raised toilet seat, to larger issues, such as overspending, smoking, or drinking excessively. People who are well married try very hard not to annoy or hurt their spouses unnecessarily. So, we moderate our behaviors as much as we can to accommodate our partner, yet without sacrificing our autonomy in the process. There is a balance to be found here. Take a moment to reflect: Are there behaviors you could change or moderate that your spouse would appreciate?
What Exactly Is PREPARE/ENRICH?
PREPARE is designed for couples who are dating or engaged.
ENRICH is intended for those who are already married.
Both are online tools that evaluate how each partner responds in important areas of a relationship like communication, handling conflict, finances, sex, role expectations, and spiritual values.
Each person completes the assessment individually. Afterward, they meet together with a certified facilitator who walks them through the results—highlighting areas of alignment, difference, and misunderstanding.
What makes this tool so effective is that it gives couples something objective to review together. It’s no longer just one person’s perspective—it’s all laid out clearly, in black and white.
A Real Example
I’ve personally worked with PREPARE/ENRICH since the early 2000s. Gerard earned his certification back in 1995, and this assessment has been trusted since 1980. It’s backed by decades of solid research.
Throughout the years, I’ve witnessed some remarkable breakthroughs:
Couples who thought everything was fine gained an entirely new level of understanding
Engaged couples who realized their paths were diverging—and made the kind, mature decision not to marry
Long-term partners who had felt stuck for years finally found the words to express what had been buried inside
In my experience, over 90% of the couples I’ve guided through PREPARE/ENRICH and who went on to marry are still together today.
What You’ll Receive
Here’s what you can expect when you take the assessment:
A detailed report outlining your strengths and areas for growth (provided to your facilitator)
A shorter summary report for you
6–8 focused sessions with a trained counselor
Hands-on tools and exercises to build your skills in:
Communication
Conflict resolution
Recognizing personality differences
Deepening intimacy and shared values
Thoughtful “homework” to help you connect more deeply between sessions
This isn’t just a relationship quiz—it’s a roadmap. And your counselor is there to walk beside you on the journey.
Why Work With a Counselor?
While PREPARE/ENRICH is a fantastic tool on its own, it becomes even more transformative when used alongside the expertise of a trained professional. A skilled counselor can help you recognize underlying patterns and guide you through them with care and understanding.
At Light the Way, several of our therapists—including Cindy, Gerard, Janet, and Esther—are certified in PREPARE/ENRICH, as are our licensed Marriage and Family Therapists.
Want a Clearer Picture of Your Relationship?
No matter if you’ve been together a few months or many years, PREPARE/ENRICH can offer a clear snapshot of what’s working well and where you might grow.
📞 Call 201-444-8103 ext. #1 to book a consultation.
Let’s put it all in black and white—and move forward, together.
